One week from now, I will celebrate a new milestone. I will hit the big 4-0. That’s right. I’ll turn forty years old. And to be frank, it’s something that has caused an unreal amount of stress. Granted, it’s unwarranted, but I’m still stressed about the whole thing. This is a big deal and I’m more likely making it more than it has to be. People said they were happy to turn forty; that forty is the new twenty. They said age is just a number; it’s your attitude that determines your real age. Well, excuse me if I’m more pessimistic than optimistic. But perhaps I’m looking at this through just one set of lenses.
Let’s start with the pessimist side. There’s the whole “midlife crisis” phenomenon. The idea being that you do something drastic and ill-advised, much to the chagrin of your significant other, especially. I’m thinking of the grand scheme of things. I look back at my life and think about all my dreams and aspirations up to this point in my life. I think about all the jobs I had throughout my career. Honestly, I thought I would have an actual “career” rather than just a job. I would spend my time either writing full-time or be in a position where I could write more often than I do. I thought I would have the money to pay back my debts, have such valued possessions like a Corvette and a big house. I thought I would have the perfect life with my wife and kids and that I would be in relatively good shape. Not everything has come to fruition. But this is where my perception is skewed. I’m only looking at the materials. The things and concepts society uses to measure your success as a human being.
And now, let’s be optimistic. Sure, I may not be the healthiest person out there. (Who really is?) Yes, I have mental issues, as I have discussed before on this blog. But I’m taking steps to not just manage, but not let such issues define my character. I have a loving family. My wife and I are going on fourteen years of marriage. I have the best children in the world. They have strong personalities that make them unique. And I couldn’t be more proud of them and all they have become. And I know that they will become healthy, well-rounded children of mine.
So, let’s discuss the things that “make the world go round.” My job. I’ve been at my job for nearly fifteen years. That’s the longest I’ve been in any job. It took some time to get to where I’m at. While I’m not in a position of authority, I’m happy with the work that I do; being around technology and interacting with people. Sometimes, I get disgusted with the complaints I hear from customers due to reasons beyond my control. But I’m happy to help resolve the issues customers have.
Next thing, material possessions. So I don’t have the Corvette I wanted. My wife and I crack on each other about giving expensive cars away to other people. It actually is humorous. And there’s relief in the fact that the costs to maintain “Silver Bonnie” are not astronomical. I’m renting a house, but the size is maintainable for our family. And I have some “toys”—a laptop, a PS4, and an iPhone 8 Plus—that I got from shopping around for deals.
Overall, I say I have a pretty fulfilling life. The thought of turning forty is not dramatic and overwhelming. The fact that I’ve made to this point is by the grace of God. I have what I have because of Him, hard work, and the support of family and friends. So what if my life is not how I pictured it to be. The experiences are what matter most; those that I am able to share with my family.
So, a toast to being forty and the hope of celebrating forty more and beyond!!