Weekend Coffee Share: Happy Father’s Day

Good

Nice to see you guys. To be honest, I wasn’t expecting company, being that it’s Father’s Day and all. But I’m glad you’re here. Help yourself to some coffee pods and some almond creamer. It’s very good.

Settled in? Okay…

Like I said, I wasn’t expecting a lot of company for Father’s Day. Continue reading “Weekend Coffee Share: Happy Father’s Day”

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Weekend Coffee Share: Time to Mourn

Good afternoon,

Forgive my yawning, first of all. I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night. And probably won’t tonight. Oh well. At least I have K-cups. Help yourself. 

Now then,

I hope you don’t mind, but I want to address something that happened while on vacation. I asked on Facebook if anyone heard from my dad. This time last year, one of my aunts passed away. The family felt the loss in many ways. I assumed my dad did the most. Anyway, I posted the question in hopes that members of my family respond with something positive. I got a lot of criticism instead because I used my dad’s first name. Some took it as a sign of disrespect. I meant none, but such is the issue with social media. I removed the status last night. 

As I think about it now, I should have asked certain members of my family through Facebook Messenger. But you know how hindsight is, right?

I asked about my dad because I don’t hear from him for long periods of time. There was a moment where he called me once a month. Twice, if I was lucky. Then, he stopped calling. He wrote a letter to me once, but nothing more. The last time I saw him was in 2012. I passed through East St. Louis on a trip to visit one of my grandmothers. I wanted him to meet my wife and daughter in person. Truth be told, though, I felt a need to talk about how the divorce affected me. The day before I left for Chicago, I rode with him as he ran errands, but didn’t share. I wanted to talk to him about how I tried to build a broken relationship for years, only to be shot down. I didn’t. I regret that decision. 

Now whenever I think about him, there’s no love. No compassion. No chance for forgiveness. But I need to let these things go. My family suggested I write a letter and send it to him. I hesitated for years because I had no clue what to say. But as I think about my dad and the Facebook status I posted, the more I feel the urge to write it. I feel the words coming to me. How long it will be? It doesn’t matter. I just need to pour my soul into it. I need to express how much disdain I have for him. The letter needs to happen. I need to “bury” him and what’s left of my relationship, which is nonexistent.

I’m sorry for bogging you down with my issue. I know that’s not what you came for. Still, I’m glad you stuck around. I hope things went well for you. Let me know in the comments. 

Until next time…