It’s the first Wednesday of the month. And that means it’s time for my contribution to the Insecure Writers Support Group. The first Wednesday of each month, writers and bloggers share their writing stories to encourage writers of all levels. If you have any questions or would like to participate, clink on the link to learn more.
So by this time, many writers have started their quest to write 50k words for NaNoWriMo. And this month’s optional question was geared toward NaNo. I haven’t even participated in NaNo, so answering the question is out of the question. But I thought I would insert my two cents and explain why I haven’t participated in NaNo at all.
I’ve been encouraged by a lot of writing friends to participate in this challenge. And it is a challenge. Even certain members of my family have spurred me to do it. But I feel NaNo isn’t right for me. But before I begin, this requires a preface. I recently posted on social media that I was listing off a lot of regrets in my writing journey. And it’s come at an inopportune time. So, take it with a grain of salt.
Now, here’s why I don’t think NaNo will work for me:
- I’m not good with word count goals. Don’t get me wrong. Writing so many words is a huge benchmark. But coming up with about 1700 words a day is daunting. It’s hard enough to produce even 1000 on any given day. And that’s even with me joining a Facebook writing group that encourages meeting word counts. Writing so many words for 30 days straight doesn’t seem feasible, even though I did such a feat back in July. And that leads me to my next reason.
- I don’t have the time to sit and write every day. Like most writers, I have to balance writing with a full-time life. I work two jobs and I help out with the family. That’s roughly 3/4 of my day. Granted, I have my breaks during work, so I can write then, but I’m a slow writer. For me, meeting the ideal daily word count goal will take hours (with breaks sprinkled in, of course).
- I’m a writing perfectionist. Finding time to write is challenging enough for me. But I’m really bad when it comes to perfectionism. Even with a first draft, my inner critic is ever present, looking over my shoulder. It doesn’t matter if I write on my laptop or with paper and pen. Every fiber wants to make changes while I write. (It’s worse writing on my laptop, by the way.) I feel like I get nothing accomplished; like I made no progress.
- I’m bad when it comes to creating ideas for projects. It’s said that there are no more original ideas; just better ways to tell the story. And I wholehearted agree with that statement. I will dare take it a step further and say the retellings are becoming redundant. Now granted, this is a lame excuse. I can research prompts on Google, Pinterest, or anywhere on social media. The problem is, like my yearning to be perfect in writing my draft, I have this need to be perfect in my execution. I freeze in fear just at the thought of trying to come up with something new.
- I’m constantly comparing myself to others. Like the perfectionism, there’s this fear that I will not be as good as others. I want to be happy for my fellow writers, but there’s a part of me that feels I should be where they are. I feel reading word count statuses will make things worse for my self-esteem. It’s bad enough I beat myself up for things I haven’t done. NaNo might make it ten times worse.
- I have a fear of failure. This is the last, and arguably, the most crippling reason. As much as I say I don’t, I can be pretty competitive. I feel the need to be good at whatever I do. Especially writing. 50k words is certainly doable, but what if I don’t meet that goal? What does that say to me as a writer? These are questions I ask myself even with the Writing Club on Facebook. I look at the stat sheet and see how many words people produce in a day. I feel inadequate because I have trouble meeting my measly goal every day.
I apologize that this post is contradictory to the purposes of the group. But I have a responsibility to be honest with my blog followers. Now by no means, this is not to discourage anyone from participating in NaNo. And it’s not to say that I will never try at hand at the challenge. I might do Camp NaNo where I can set my own word count goal. But right now, I’m not at a place where I can commit to such a challenge. But rest assured, I will be on the sidelines, cheering my fellow writers on.
What about you? Are you participating in NaNo this year? Have you participated before? Why or why not? Let me know in the comments. I want to know your thoughts.
Write on, my friends. And to those participating in NaNo, good luck.